Democracy For Nepal: 100 Reasons To Revive Parliament

Friday, May 13, 2005

100 Reasons To Revive Parliament

For peace.
For democracy.
For peace and democracy.
To revive Zone of Peace proposal.
To revise Sugauli Treaty.
To sanction Trent Lott.
For global peace.
Because Siddhartha Gautam was a proud son of Asia.
Because Bhrikuti was the Light of Asia and her father's eyes.
So Prince Paras may play more rounds of golf.
So Girija may sleep better at night, at 5 AM, at 3 in the afternoon, or whenever it is that he sleeps.
So Madhav Nepal may become Prime Minister in 2015 or thereafter.
So Baburam Bhattarai may register his Note of Dissent without having to fear Protective Custody and Purification.
So Prachanda may sound intelligent.
So King G can be seen and heard at the same time.
So there can be peace in Palestine.
And in Punjab.
And Kashmir.
And Sudan.
And Tora Bora.
And Baghdad.
And Chicago.
So man may go to the moon, again, and women may rejoice.
So Hridayesh Tripathy can pay Rajendra Mahato's phone bill and Rajendra Mahato can pay Rameshwar Ray Yadav's phone bill and Rameshwar Ray Yadav can pay Badri Mandal's phone bill and Badri Mandal may rejoice.
Just because.
Because I told you so.
To enlighten Manmohan Singh on matters of economic importance.
To boost Laloo Yadav's kulhar scheme.
To boost the Rajib Gandhi Yuba Rojgar Yojana.
To perform for peace.
For planetary peace and progress.
So Girija may inaugurate the historic Tibet bus service and take credit.
So the menace of constipation may be tackled.
To wage war on mosquitoes to provide relief for patriotic Madhesis.
To place a phone call to Mao and see if he can do anything about Prachanda.
To call Kim Jong Ill.
To call Stalin and say it is urgent.
To build an international airport in Biratnagar so Girija may fly in and out more frequently.
So Sujata Koirala can go home to be with Daddy.
So Mahara may look and wonder.
So Rabindra Mishra and Baburam Bhattarai may go at it again.
To send a peace mission to Lhasa.
So as to call Mao, say it is urgent.
So Gagan Thapa may have the time and blade to shave.
So pickpockets may be released and politicians exported.
So Bijay Kumar gets to interview Amitabh Bachchan to revive his flagging career.
So CK Lal may write and be done with it.
So Hem Bahadur Malla and his wife can contest elections again.
For peace and security.
So Pyar Jung Thapa and his boys can "go home."
So as to facilitate Bidya Bhandari's defeat of Krishna Prasad Bhattarai.
Look at the law and order situation.
To form a committee to look into the law and order situation and make recommendations.
To form a Royal Commission to Create Corruption to neutralize its evil twin.
Remember Pajero?
Why are there only a dozen members in the cabinet, as if the country had a scarcity of talent!
To implicate Hindi-speaking, Dhoti-kurta-wearing, Paan-chewing Sadbhavana workers in false cases.
To control ganja in Siraha.
So Prachanda may go back into the jungle from his suburban office setting.
I told you so.
Because Girija says so.
Just because.
Look at the poverty and despair in the country.
To form a committee to look into the poverty and despair in the country.
So Girija may raise an army, become a rival warlord, and hijack another plane.
For the sake of stability, dang-gone-it!
So the Nepalis the world over can feel proud again.
To coordinate signature campaigns with DC protestors.
So Girija has something he can dissolve.
So Deuba has something he can dissolve.
So Manmohan or his designate has something he or she can dissolve.
To conduct fresh polls for a new century.
So Uttar Ram Tamata can go back to a more private life in the Kathmandu suburbs.
To pay the price for democracy on a monthly basis: there is no such thing called a free lunch.
So the Chinese have something to envy.
So street protests may resume and democracy revitalized.
To take a second look at Baburam's 40-point generalities and vague statements.
To conduct peace talks with the Maoists, the Gorkha National Liberation Front, the LTTE, Arafat, and Republicans Against Foreign Aid And Abortions in DC.
To resume the FM radio business.
For press freedom and to press for freedom.
To conduct peace talks with King Jigme Sigme Wangchuk.
To never again send 50 police officers to arrest Deuba even if he might be absconding.
To send 25 commandos to go after Prachanda and another 25 to rescue Baburam.
So the World Hindu Federation may go conquer the world.
To ban use of RNA soldiers as domestic servants, instead encourage use of dishwashers, washing machines, rice-cookers and inter-caste marriages.
To encourage female assertivity within marriages.
To train the army top brass in the joys of domestic work.
Just because there is no parliament in Bihar does not mean Nepal has to follow the lead.
For an image uplift.
To attract tourists.
So the Nepali people get reminded who and what they have been missing.
To eradicate poverty.
So Girija may plot revenge against Prachanda for killing a thousand of his party workers.
So it can be proven Girija has been right all along.
To derecognize RPP as the party of the Panches, and wash away memorie of exile.
To debate issues of national and international importance.
To hold press conferences and meetups.
To form a committe to make sense of the Maoist insurgency.
For peace of mind when a parliamentary session ends.
If Jesus can be resurrected, the parliament can be revived.